what's that line, again?

I've been reading Reader's Digest, dear readers. Here's some witty lines conjured by some famous stand-up comics. I'm sure you'll be suitably entertained.

Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice. BILL COSBY

Gay people invented sports. Think about it. Boxing: two topless men... in silk shorts... fighting over a belt. ANT

So they're showing me, on television, the detergents getting out bloodstains. I mean, come on, you got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it. Maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem right now. JERRY SEINFELD

You know, marriage is making a big comeback. I know personally that in Hollywood people are marrying people they never married before. BOB HOPE

LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their US factory and moving it to Mexico. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they made the factory too easy to take apart and rebuild somewhere else. CONAN O' BRIEN

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. STEVE MARTIN

When I was a little kid, we had a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. STEVEN WRIGHT

When I was in London, I went to buy some chocolates. The cashier was like, "That will be ten pounds." I'm like, "Rub it in, why don't you?" CAROL LEIFER

Batman never fights crime in neighbourhoods that need it. I'd like to see Batman fight crime in my neighbourhood.

"Robin?"

"Yes, Batman?"

"Didn't we park the car right here, man?" DAVE CHAPPELLE

Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers, I wear a scent called "new-car interior." RITA RUDNER